"I'm wearing my Chuck Norris shirt, hopefully he'll be intimidated."  

Is it supposed to smell like that when you're done ?    from a friend of mine after dragging a long time .  

"no cursing at the mini truckin team mom"  

grab the shaft harder

Q.wheres your truck at?
A. shes at home she just looked so warm a cuddly all tucked in i didnt want to wake her.  

"Kick some feet up and throw down a cold bull, that's how mini truckin'
rolls.......that's what I did today."  

"I am full of blueberries."

- co-worker, looking down at the remains of his blueberry pancake breakfast  

"I can't believe we're buyers."

-friend, looking down at his SEMA badge during buffet dinner Friday night.  

look i made a butt print

- a certain some one sitting down after a jog next to us workin on the yota  

"But can ya make it bounce ?"      
"Oh my , how far in does it go ?"
Both from the same person about 5 mins apart in the parking lot here while looking at my truck . LOL .  

Why are you gona paint that panel?
You should just write something cool on it like *** YOU!
-A buddy's dad after one beer while we're workin on the hardbody  

do you need me to call someone
-from a cleaning lady outside a restop were I had my ranger layed out while I was getting a pepsi  

i saw a sticker on the back of a car that said if your going to ride my ass at least pull my hair so i passed by to see what she look liked and notice HE was a little to happy to be driving so slow  

do you have any zip ties i lost my nuts  

TagDragger:
Quit playing with that , you might break it .
and here is one i heard the other day from a cop here " Drop em"

hahaha nice.  

teacher:  cum has lots of sugar and salt in it

dumb cheerleader:  then how come it doesnt taste sweet?

teacher:  because you have to taste it with your tongue, not the back of your throat